Hello, My name's Mary.
And I'm 101 years of age.
You'd probably don't know who I am but I do.
I've been hiding under your bed not until your mom bought a new vacuum cleaner and sucked me out during spring cleaning.
My hobbies are eating new-born babies and hiding in somewhere dark, even in your nostrils.
This is my graveyard. No Trespassing Allowed.
Don't dirty my place, steal my offerings, dig out my grave or anything.
Try to be funny, and I'll haunt you for 666 zillion years.